The real reason holding music bothers you so much

Everyone knows Dig: ask, then wait. Then wait some more, as nondescript but vaguely annoying drones. If customer surveys are to be believed, many people will lose entire days of their lives listening in limbo, chanting the same song on repeat, hearing promises that their call is very important and that the next available actor will be with them soon.

Under this pandemic, wait times for customer service calls have only gotten worse as the world tries to grapple with a logistical nightmare. Some chose to make the most of boredom, choreographing Tik Tok choreography to fill the time. But for those with normal levels of positivity, more time on hold means more minutes caught up in the abyss.

Nobody calls customer service to chat. In most cases, people call to report a problem or seek help—it’s time for a busy day. However, bad music seems like a missed opportunity. If you create the right atmosphere, callers may be less likely to hang up, or at least be in a more generous mood for the unfortunate operator receiving the call.

Background music is a proven tool in marketing, used to influence consumer behavior in stores and restaurants. Certain differences in size, pace, tone, and texture have subconscious effects on mood, and excite the pleasure centers of the brain. Music raises “happy hormones,” like dopamine and serotonin, which relax customers, who are more likely to order an extra drink or toss something else in their cart.

So where did it go wrong with loading music, most vanilla? When experts have spent decades crafting tones to calm us down, why is our blood still boiling? The answer is not so simple. Although designed to be harmless, the sounds you hear while waiting for help are filled with requirements that music makers deemed necessary to satisfy customers. But unfortunately, the psychological torture of waiting on hold means that the best music will likely provoke you.

Much of the discomfort caused by music is a “conditioned response,” says Kathryn O’Neill, an expert in music psychology at York University. We feel frustrated at being forced to stand aside, and expect to be angry at what we hear. O’Neill says simply, “We’re upset about waiting, but that feeling is connected to the music.”

But music affects how we perceive how long we’ve been waiting. “Music is more effective than silence in decreasing elapsed time estimates,” O’Neill says. “In general, the presence of updates or music has a positive effect on satisfaction when compared to just a ringtone.” Of course, it cannot completely erase the passage of time.

But why does he have to be so cute? According to Danny Turner, Head of Creative Programming at Mood Media, a longstanding provider of outstanding music, it’s important “that the music is in sync with the brand or business standards.” Hard rock or techno wouldn’t be a relaxing option for a doctor’s office, just as classical music wouldn’t inspire callers to join the gym. If singing is in the mix, Turner cautions, songs should be “business-appropriate” — not overt or loaded. Also, if the music is too much fun, it may backfire. “If we like music, we pay more attention to it and then feel like we’ve been off for longer,” O’Neill says. “Brands use beige because they spend more time than silence but in theory we pay less attention to it.” The result? Lots of tunes halfway through when you connect to your cable provider.